All Aboard the Performance Truck!

And just who IS Ron Ehmke, anyway? He's a writer, performer, media artist, curator,  archivist, editor, minister, and other things. He often refers to himself in the third person. This site is a work-in-progress, but so is life itself, so keep stopping by and see if anything has happened since your last visit.




Ronawanda in action, circa 2001-2. A different dumbass was in the White House at this time.
Photo: Don Kreger


Y'all, I have a little favor ta ask of you fine smart sexy people readin' this here whateverthisis. Yep, I mean YOU, Miss Lefty Till Graduation, and YOU, Mister Sister Resistance Whose Granddaddy Bravely Fought the Nazis As an Extra in Inglorious Bastards:

I'mo axe y'all if maybe, jus MAYBE, y'all could pretty please try RILL RILL HARD to remember somethin' that should never be forgot, no matter who or whom is in which or what pulliticull office and no matter how much they piss y'all off: WORDS MATTER, they matter a lot, but SOMETIMES, in life as in paint chips, what matters waaaaay MORE is the VALUES the speaker is expressin with them words.

We cum together once again to drop our collective jaws over the latest jaw-drop-provokin' mic drop dropped by our Fake President, but it could be any ol' droopy dogg of a pub-lickin' public offishyul spreadin the bullshit to make the flowers grow an I would be sayin the same damn thang, cuz I been sayin it to ya since the Year of Our Lord Joe Strummer, Nineteen Fuckin Seventy Eight:

Kin we all TRY not to get all caught up in the specific "VULGAR LANGUAGE" the current Failin President used but keep our outrage focused like a damn lazer beam on the even more VULLLLGARRR MEANING behind them words?

After all, if ya axe me, just about every damn sin-tense figment that comes out of his dang MOUTH is VULGAR. So we gots ta pick our battles.

I personally don't give two shits that President Pussygrabber used the word "shithole" (er was it a HOUSE o dung he was callin the darkies?) in a closed door meetin. Cussin is as American as Lenny MOTHERfuckin Bruce! Hell, my own mama used to talk that way behind closed doors, and I bet yers did too. If she didn't, then maybe you wus just on the wrong side of them doors.

I am WAY more O-fin-ded about everything BEFORE and AFTER that little snatch of perfectly Americun lingo in that most American of buildings on that purr-tickle-ular day.

I know, I know: Crooked Donnie AN his supporters AN the folks who hate him (folks like YEW) ALL like to claim he is "unpresidented" in every way a prezzy-dent kin be. But THAT TOO is bullshit, pure an simple.

Some a you younger folks're too young—an, alas, too poorly edumacated—to know this particular bit o' yer nation's history, but LBJ cussed like a goddam sailor an, hell, Richard M. Nixon's potty mouth on the Watergate Tapes gave the nation a catchphrase that lasted fer decades.

Look it up, kiddos: "[Expley Tive Deeee leted]" That was back in the pre-Bill Clinton days, when there was still a widely held belief among newscasters that they should always take the High Road even when the folks they was reportin' on took the Lowest one on the map. But THAT fuckin ship sailed a LONNNNG time ago.

Hell, LOTS a poly-tishuns have been a-cussin all along. Probly all the way back to Washington and that one y'all only know cuz a that hippity hop musical about him on the Grate White Way. Th'only reason you don't know about most of the cussin is cuz, again, YOU WAS ON THE WRONG SIDE OF THE CLOSED DOOR.

"Shithole" ain't the problem, folks. An' as long as you keep actin like it is, Little Donno's jus' gonna keep doin' WHAT HE ALWAYS DOES:

STEP 1. Denyin' that he said it, even when there's witnesses or a goddam TAPE RECORDING (still waitin for THAT slipper to drop, Bee Tee Double-You; you cain't tell me NO BODY in that room was lifestreamin or livetwattin or whatever they call it nowadays. Mark mah words: jus like SMiLE, the se-cret iden-titty a Deep Throat, and them Debasement Tapes before it, the bootleg a that meetin IS gonna see the light sooner er later, cuz NOBODY IN AMERICA CAN KEEP A DAMN SECRET FUREVER)

2. Attackin the credibility of the witnesses

3. Shiftin the focus from the ISSUES AT HAND to one er two indie vitual WORDS.

NOW he's runnin around claimin he ain't a racist. Well, hell, that just shows ya how outta touch with his "Base" (and I DO mean BASE) that rich bastard truly IS.

Well, honeypie, I got news fer ya: ever since white sheets went outta style 'bout FIFTY FUCKIN YEARS AGO, almost NO BODY who really IS a racist still SAYS they are!

Ain't you never heard of Southern Politeness? Cunnin linguists calls it "in-di-rect speech."

In the New New South, NOBODY but a handful of loco yokels is STILL dumb enough ta EVER come right out of their dark lil closet and actually SAY they are a "racist"! That would be like sayin' you LIKE the [fill in the name a some sports team nobody likes]. It Ain't Done. Not even David Goddam DUKE ever actually SAYS he's "a racist."

No sir, ya keep that kinda thang to yer racist self an yer circle a racist friends. MEANWHILE ya just go on doin' all the shitty shit that racists do in their shitt little racist shithouses, like buildin walls to keep dark skinned people out, holdin' meetins to hash out how y'all are gonna screw over immigrants' younguns, sayin' yew SURRRE wish there was a lot more Norwegians in the country (and yes, Rush, Asians, too, cuz they ain't the enemy du jour at the present jour), and so on.

'member how ever'body made fun a garbage collectors (which is damn hard work, given the amount a trash THIS country generates) when someone came up with callin em "sanitation engineers"? And then when "bums" (another set o folks facin a DAMN HARDER WAY TO LIVE than bein a real estate tychoon's youngun) started bein' called "homeless" (CUZ THEY DON'T HAVE FUCKIN HOMES, unlike all the folks makin fun of 'em)? Or when the folks that had been labelled "faggots" said they preferred to be called "gay" (only to start the rich dumbasses complainin that the faggots had "stolen" that word from them, even though they ain't never knowed a moment a real "gayness" back when they thought the word WAS theirs)?

Rich dumbasses jus LOVE to WHINE about these kinds a changes in words (that's right, WORDS again). They call the simple act of treatin other livin creatures with the same respect they believe is their birth right "po-LITICAL cur-RECTness" and they carry on about it as if it was the end of the got dang WORLD and they was Henny Penny. Some days they act like they jus find it silly, "cuz it's just words an words don't matter to them as long as THEY are the ones decidin what those words MEAN fer everbody else. But even when they act like it's all just a big joke you kin tell they are still EXTREMELY offended by the mere idea that what offends somebody ELSE should matter, cuz they cain't STAND anybody but them gettin to do what they "prefer," which is to be able to use WORDS like bum an faggot an bitch an nigger an kike an on an on an on in the ever-replenishin well o' ways to trash talk people that don't look or talk or act or pray jus 'xactly like THEM. Yew know, like in the Good Ol Days, when they didn't have ta CONSTANTLY be PAYIN ATTENTION to the words that was flowin outta their mouths like verbal die-uh-ree-ahhhhh.

But guess what: THEY have their OWN words they would PrrrreeeFURRRR not to be called jus like everbody else. Nowadays, it is no longer con-sidered po-litically correct in THEIR circles to call folks "racists." They prefer other terms, like "Alt Right" or "European American" or "Republican." But it don't matter what you call 'em, cuz it's ALWAYS their ACTIONS that give em away. Actions like claimin that yer preddy-cessor wasn't born here, or that one a yer competitors' Cuban daddy killed JFK, or feelin obliged to remind everone that there's good Nazis, too, or —oh, hell, y'all KNOW the list as well as I do, an it jus keeps gettin longer an longer. Kinda like Pinocchio's nose. An I am wellll aware that by the time yew read this, there's gonna be a bunch more items on that list so outrageous I cain't even imagine them as of 5:24 p.m. on Wednesday, Jan-uary 11, 2018.

So please, mah fellow Americans, I implore y'all:
Which are a shithouse now.
And we gotta start cleanin that house.
Startin by cleanin up our OWN act.
Start by Wakin UP

into the long dark hours


Luv y'all!
Byyyyyye fer nowwww,